The $2 Challenge: Red Patent Pleather Journal

Five Below is a store aimed at the wallets of tweens and teenagers, but in this economy, it's just as appealing to their parents and is often the first place we check when we need to buy anything.

As you'd guess from the name, everything in the store costs $5 or less, and they have a wide range of merchandise, from toys, books and software to makeup to crafts to sporting goods to tee shirts to fad items like Kooky Pens and Beanie Babies. Some day I'm going to come up with a fad like that and be able to report on purchases from Neiman Marcus again, but in the meantime, Five Below satisfies. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's the new Target, because it presents truly stylish merchandise at 1/4 the price at which you would get it anywhere else.

For this reason, Five Below was the natural choice for the next installment of the $2 challenge. I came SO close to winning; the price tag on this item is actually $3, but it's so close that I just had to write about it. After all, $3 is only 12 quarters. Anyone who's fairly diligent could scrounge that from behind the cushions of their couch.

This faux patent leather journal has 200 pages, comes with stylish hardware, and also features a zippered pocket that you can stash stuff in if you're going to the park or the beach to write. It comes in two versions, red and black. I chose the red but I think I'll have to go back there and get the black too...maybe one will be for my racy tell-all memoir and the other one for emo poetry. At this price, you can buy SIX of them and spend less than you would for one journal at Barnes & Noble. Available at Five Below while supplies last.

Ten Pretty Girls Get Facelifts

Well, that's not exactly true. It's the blog that's getting a facelift, thanks to the talented team of Michael and Heather Grenier, who custom designed a logo for us that perfectly fits our feel of retro elegance mixed with modern moxie. (If you're interested in their services, leave a comment and I'll forward it to them.)

Okay, we also offer heaping spoonfuls of sarcasm but I'm afraid that a sarcastic logo might get us confused with the Onion, which might not necessarily be a bad thing but would definitely alienate my most loyal readership. (Hi Mom!)

I love the pink and brown color scheme because it reminds me of Bendel's, a beautiful vision to illuminate these long dark teatimes of the soul. I'm having a bit of trouble finding background and text colors that show it off, though. Hieu can solve this problem for me, but right this second he's on a job interview (I won't say where but after last week's Screamer of the Week you can be 100% sure it isn't Kmart!), so while we're waiting for him, let's enjoy a little treat that also rocks the retro/modern contrast: an Henri Bendel candle in Black Fig, with notes of absinthe, Persian lime, cashmere, wood and jasmine. This candle is an indulgence at $26 but it will burn for over 50 hours and candlelight is said to mimic the effects of a face lift, after all!

How To Receive Your AIG Bonus In Style

Hieu Tran is an occasional contributing writer to Ten Pretty Girls, freelancing and living in San Francisco.

SAN FRANCISCO, March 18—Zoogster Costumes reports that item RA7202 is sold out. The run on the costume is being blamed on the recent AIG bonuses—also known as “retention payments.”

The costume is apparently the preferred outfit for all AIG employees who are standing in line to receive the million-dollar bonuses rewarded to them for helping their company post the largest loss—$61.7 billion dollars in a quarter—in corporate history, while multi-tasking to the effect of helping trash the global economy, resulting in numerous job losses, failed businesses, loss of homes and swallowing of pride in begging for jobs that once were considered ridiculous and demeaning. Since then, AIG has asked numerous times for billions of dollars in taxpayers’ money, in the form of bailouts, to help keep the company from going bankrupt.

The suit, complete with matching hat, enables executives to identify which AIG employees should be freely given hard-earned American taxpayer money—money which, according to AIG executives, the American taxpayers didn’t need anyway.

When asked for comment about the suit, AIG CEO Edward Liddy remarked, “These bonuses are part of the contract of these remarkable employees. But boy, they’ve really earned it! And when you see them in the Zoogster suit, you just understand how remarkable these guys really are.” Liddy paused, then, with a twinkle in his eye, he assured, “Oh, and please don’t worry about the money spent on buying the suits. We didn’t require our outstanding employees to buy them. Instead, American tax dollars went into purchasing the suits for them.”

A Zoogster Costumes representative commented, “That’s pretty cool that they bought all the RA7202 costumes. It’s good for our business, so that totally rocks.” Then he thought for a bit, then added, “But since my tax money is buying the suits for them, I guess that totally sucks balls.”

Running With Scissors: Opening Ceremony Cutout Dress 1/2 Off

I've been a little bit obsessed with Ugly Betty lately. I've had a thing for Eric Mabius way back since Welcome To The Dollhouse, and call me a sucker, but the season three reluctant bonding between Amanda, Marc and Betty is really getting to me. The main reason, however, is Vanessa Williams' incredible wardrobe, which keeps getting more and more over the top as the season goes on. Barring a few missteps (the silver dress she wore in the roof party episode looked like it had a board nailed across the bodice), she's the most stylish villainess since Cruella Deville.

If your trend watching is limited to following Wilhelmina Slater, as mine has been of late as I catch up on some other areas of my writing, you'll notice that cutout dresses are making a comeback. This is a trend from the 80's, but unlike some other similar trends that are making me break out in hives just thinking about them-- stirrup pants? JUMPSUITS? If I ever see Wilhelmina wearing a jumpsuit I'll eat my right hand-- this look is actually wearable and sexy.

Here's a great version from Opening Ceremony at Twenty Thirty Forty, my new favorite online boutique, on sale for half off and a true bargain at only $138. The reason this dress is killah is because it's subtle, timeless, and could serve as an LBD. Even better, it truly could be worn in all four seasons, even summer, depending on how you accessorize it and how much air conditioning there is in the places you hang out. I would buy this dress for a power lunch at NINETHIRTY, pair it with some big black glasses and strappy sandals, and feel like the movie star my mom always told me I was.

How To Walk In Six Inch Heels

Editorial Disclaimer: the heels pictured above (Nine West) are only 5 inches high. They're my equivalent of "kitten heels," while my 4 inch heels are "sensible shoes" and my 3 inch heels are my version of flats. This leads to a predictable set of questions: "Who do you think you are, a drag queen?" "What are you doing in heels that high?" "When you're in the hospital with two broken legs, you don't think I'm going to visit you, do you?" "Where did you even find heels that high?" Or my favorite, "Why in God's name are you wearing 6 inch heels?"

The short answer to the last question is that they make me feel powerful. Walking in 6 inch heels is a somewhat rare talent and I love to make jaws drop any way I can. It's not always easy. Recently I almost gave up my 6 inch heels when they came between me and getting backstage at Badgley Mischka. But the truth is they're one of my signature style items and I can't live without them. So...to answer Stevie's question, following is the secret to getting away with 6 inch heels:

1. Pick platforms if you can. The heels pictured above are actually harder to wear than my 6 inch ones, because the 6 inch ones have a 2 inch platform. Therefore, my calf muscles think that they're 4 inch heels.

2. Make sure the shoes are otherwise comfortable. Even I CANNOT handle 6 inch heels plus a strap that rubs, or 6 inch heels with pinchy toes.

3. Develop a purposeful stride. Walking in 6 inch heels is like flying in a dream. If you think about the fact that you're doing it, suddenly you won't be able to do it anymore.

4. This last one is the most important. The real secret to walking in 6 inch heels is sheer stubbornness. I could follow all of the other rules and still not be able to do it if I weren't so intent on proving everyone else wrong. The main reason I can walk in 6 inch heels is because everyone else thinks I can't.

The $2 Challenge: Torrid Triple Changer Earrings

Hieu Tran is an occasional contributing writer to Ten Pretty Girls, freelancing and living in San Francisco.

A globe. A star. A ring. They sound like mythical elements, but we can get these Torrid earrings all together for $1.99. Granted, they’re on clearance among other earrings and necklaces, but not far away from this clearance display are other similar items for full price. For whatever reason, Torrid has decided to move these items to make space for other products. So while these Torrid earrings have probably seen their last days in the store, they make great deals for bargain hunters and $2 challenges.

There were a number of serviceable designs to choose from, but the one offering I chose furnishes us with three pairs of earrings: blue globes, pink stars, and silver hoops. So, for $2, one may pick up a few additional variables in fashion coordination, each different playfully in color, shape, and size.

I suppose one may call them cute. But a guy such as myself wouldn’t know how to apply that term properly to fashion item. Nonetheless, from $10.00 to a mere $1.99, these Torrid earrings show that even in this economy, we can still pick up a thing or two—or three—that won’t break our wallets.

Cheap Thrills: Hot Halter for Under $15

Hieu and I are still struggling with the $2.00 challenge, but in the meantime I just found an amazing site with cute separates for $15 and under. Hot Couture (the word couture is misused, as always, but I'll forgive them in this case because they have such good buys) sells tops, pants, dresses, skirts, jeans, swimwear and belts for juniors.

Come on, you can't find stuff that cheap even at H&M! Here's my favorite, a polka dot V-strap halter that has a brilliant hidden secret-- a built in bra. As someone who suffers endless frustration because my shoulders and neck are one of the most attractive parts of my body, and yet my bust is too large to go bra-less, I will buy 10 of these and stuff my drawers with them.

Let's be honest-- the quality probably isn't going to be great at that price. But you can spend $15 on drinks going out on a Saturday night, so why not spend the money on your outfit instead and look so cute that all the guys want to buy you a drink?

The $2 Challenge: Cute Slippers

This challenge grew out of a couple of experiences I had this weekend that opened my eyes to exactly how bad the economy is. The first was when a well-dressed man with a nice car came up to me at a gas station and begged me for money. His car was almost out of gas and he wasn't reaching anyone on his cell to help him, but he had not a dollar in his wallet or any card that worked where he could get money from an ATM.

I am a well-dressed woman who drives a nice car but I had exactly $2 in my pocket, and no way of getting money from an ATM. I gave him the $2 and hoped he'd find four more people to help him and be able to drive home, and thought about how the face of poverty is sometimes well-hidden by the mask of affluence-- ie, all those things we bought that we couldn't afford. Poor isn't just the guy who's shuffling down the street in a robe and slippers with his hand out anymore.

Yesterday I went to the mall to hang out while waiting to pick up my daughter from religious school. Once again I found myself with exactly $2 in my pocket. Since I needed the exercise and the mall is large, I gave myself a challenge...find something fashionable or attractive for $2.00 and under. That gave me a reason to pop into stores all over the mall (it's about 1 1/2 miles from end to end) and, since I was feeling down and out in Short Hills, if I found something for $2.00 that cheered me up, I was going to buy it.

I failed, but I'm extending the challenge here. I'm on the hunt for a fashionable item for under $2.00, and Hieu's extending the challenge to find something that's useful and well-designed. I ALMOST hit pay dirt today-- cute slippers for $.79!-- until I realized that's a wholesale price and this is a site who supplies to dollar stores. Nevertheless, the slippers are cute, and you could buy hundreds of them and sell them for $2.00.

Readers, if you come up with cute, fashionable, functional or creative $2.00 items, please post in the comments and we'll feature your pick in a future post.

Screamer of the Week: The Scrambled Signal Shirt

Hieu Tran is an occasional contributing writer to Ten Pretty Girls, freelancing and living in San Francisco. Anyone with eyes can see that there is something seriously wrong with today's Screamer, but Hieu explains to us with scientific precision exactly what that is.

***

Yes, pictures do speak a thousand words. So that should save me a lot of work writing about this exemplary screamer of the week. But it doesn’t hurt to add a few more words either when it comes to this men’s polo shirt.

I am no fashion designer, I will readily admit, but my right to hurl vitriol at this piece comes from the same right that a movie-goer has to verbally pound Uwe Boll even though that movie-goer has never directed a movie. Simply put, it’s not whether we’ve accomplished a feat that gives us our right to criticize someone else’s attempt at the feat, but whether we’ve seen better. And upon seeing this shirt, oh yes, we have seen better.

One has to wonder what the designers were thinking when they laid down the color pattern. Froot Loops? Eternal virgin? Men’s polo shirt for the blind? What adjectives were running through their minds? Handsome? Refined? Classy? Fun? Babe magnet? Cute? Hot? Acceptable?

Is it even acceptable? How can one even attempt to ascribe any positive descriptions to that shirt without laughing? Sort of like corporate espionage and sabotage, someone from an enemy company had slunk into The American Living’s design department and had managed to achieve the equivalent of uploading a devastating virus into their mainframe.

But let’s look at this from an aesthetic point of view, because it’s one thing to scream at men’s polo shirts based on a visceral reaction, but it’s much more sophisticated of us to scream from an analytical perspective. Simply put, our eyes are not trained to look at this shirt. It’s kind of like how when an analog TV set would scramble its signal, and we get that wobbly, dizzying, pan-colored smear on the screen. Has anyone ever seen that and whispered softly and contently to oneself, “This is a good channel”? No. Chances are we would try to change the channel.

Our eyes, inundated today with violent movies, extreme porn, and strange YouTube videos, are as capable of looking at this shirt as they are at staring into the sun for five straight hours. Too many stripes fill out the pattern block. If they had designed a block of green, blue, and red, then repeated that block, then we could nod and say, “Okay, I can see how that works. My eyes are not burning, and this shirt is acceptable.”

But we can see that on this shirt, the collar starts off with blue, followed by orange, then green, etc. In order to know when the pattern repeats, we must find the next time blue is followed by orange, followed by green, etc. That would be somewhere about the stomach area. So, in between the collar and the stomach area of this shirt, we have strange, unseductive chaos stabbing seven colors into our eyes. We cannot sense any order on that shirt, so we feel disturbed.

Of course, this shirt is not without its merits. It has two sleeves, ribbed cuffs, an embroidered chest logo; it is made of soft cotton and has side vents. In its most basic function as a men’s polo shirt, to clothe the human torso, it does its job sufficiently. The only drawback is that looking at it makes us want to change the channel.

Unlikely Sources: Equestrian Chic Bracelet

Anyone can go into H&M or Target and come out with something fabulously frivolous, but for the fashionista who treats shopping as a competitive sport, it's way more fun to unearth something from a really unlikely source and then watch your rivals bang their heads on the wall when you refuse to answer, "Where'd you get THAT from?"

One of my favorite fashion moments from NY Fashion Week happened that way when I wore a black metal chain mesh necklace with little rhinestone balls hanging from it. WAY over the top but the rest of my outfit was simple (a black wrap dress with black boots) so it worked. I got this necklace from a house sale from a woman who was selling Dolce and Gabbana for $15 because she couldn't be bothered to pack it up. The necklace was clearly high-end designer, but was unsigned, and it very cleverly straddled the line between great taste and over the top, which is one of my favorite boundaries to play with.

I went to Saks Fifth Avenue for a makeup event and literally had people chasing me down asking where I got the necklace. It was fun to frustrate them with my answers; sometimes I told the truth, sometimes I made ridiculous answers up just to see what the reaction would be.

Here's a fabulous leather cuff bracelet that will have people chasing you down asking the same question. Leather cuff bracelets have gone in and out of style about 42 times in the past ten years, but this one is timeless because it's authentic. It's also TIMELY because it has horseshoe nails on it-- a good luck symbol which I'm sure we can all use in these hard times. It comes from Colonel Littleton, a catalog which offers leather goods "in the Americana tradition," which as far as I can tell means that they're trying to look like a saddle maker. This bracelet costs $45, but it's hand made in the USA out of top quality leather and it will totally be the lagniappe for the equestrian look that NY Fashion Week Fall 2009 was pushing. Or you can wear it with a Chanel suit, rock the contrast and, when they ask you where you got it, make up something good..."See, I had this affair with this cowboy, and..."

Patchwork Into Craftwork

Hieu Tran is an occasional contributing writer to Ten Pretty Girls, freelancing and living in San Francisco. Today he explains repurposed clothes, a trend first brought into the high fashion world by Imitation of Christ and continued today by designers like Garimpo+Fuxique that's likely to become more popular as we sink deeper into a depression. Here's Hieu's take on how the regular guy or girl can do it at home:

Sewing is my embarrassing feat. A guy like myself has as good of a chance at launching a space shuttle into orbit as he does stitching anything together properly with needle and thread. This is not from lack of trying. I’ve picked up the tools of the sewing trade before—oh yes—to darn that sock that was holding together by only three molecules after years of wear and tear, and, in my able hands, it miraculously became a sweater with three arms. Houdini, eat your heart out. You don’t even want to know what I did with my warhorse underwear. Think tinseled purse.

But with the stock market now dropping faster than Bill Clinton’s pants, and with our environment critically plundered, I’ve just realized that my seamster ability is no longer a topic of ridicule but a skill that may one day propel me into becoming a brilliant fashionisto. That’s right, my consistently multi-colored patchwork outcomes are the future of fashion. Possibly.

Repurposed clothing, the name for my ingenious mistakes, has been around for as long as I know. Coming from a fairly frugal family, my great-grandmother used to be able to turn a t-shirt into a pouch or an old sweater into a wool hat if she were ever so inclined. And even the smaller projects were just as good. She could sew different buttons onto a shirt and redesign the sleeves, and the whole thing would take on a different look. I’m not as gifted to be able to make an article of clothing fit with a planned vision as she did, but if I can turn a sock into a sweater with three arms, that’s a new sweater all the same, right?

But seriously, there are great benefits from repurposing clothes. Firstly, we are helping the environment by reducing the need to collect raw materials to make new clothes. Secondly, we are reducing the amount of trash we’re throwing out, since we wouldn’t be throwing out our old clothes. Thirdly, we can create clothes to our own design. And fourthly, and most importantly, we’re saving ourselves a whole pile of shiny pennies—pennies that were once nothing more than sacrificial offerings for the wish fountain god, but in this economy, are looking a bit more valuable every day.

As for getting the materials needed to repurpose your next fashion masterpiece, if you don’t have the patterns you need for the upcoming marvel on the drawing board in your head, you may shop around on a budget. You could shop those serendipitous garage sales, or go to thrift stores, or even get together with friends and trade fabric. It’ll be like a Christmas gift exchange, but instead of passing around a vintage fruitcake, you can get rid of any garments you don’t want. And you won’t even have to feel embarrassed when you show off your previous taste in clothing, because everyone else there will feel just as embarrassed about the items they’re trying to get rid of.

There are many examples of repurposed clothing out there for us to look at. Many people are proud to show off their latest and crazy inventions. They range from poor (my tinseled purse) to good to outstanding. It all comes down to your eye for fashion and your skill with the needle. With a little practice, I might be able to get close to the good range in quality. But, what I’ve already achieved is being smart. At this time, and possibly far into the future, repurposing your clothes is no longer a necessity due to empty wallets or a bizarre personal statement from artsy people. It is a practical measure we can take to help ourselves and, in some small way, the world.

And even though I didn’t really turn my old sock into a three-armed sweater or my warhorse underwear into a tinseled purse, I know that even with my current sewing skills, I could patch up something not too laughable, perhaps with a bit of expert hand-holding the first couple of tries. But this is coming from a guy who could barely sew the straps back onto his backpack as a kid. Sewing on a few new buttons, as my great-grandmother did, shouldn’t be too hard. I’m sure I could turn an ugly sweater into a more tolerable scarf if I wanted to. The great thing about repurposing clothing, especially for a guy like myself, is that it’s not too difficult. And if I mess up, no big loss, since I was going to get rid of the article of clothing anyway.

Yes, repurposing clothing rewards even my sewing skills. For all my seemingly disastrous attempts at repairing my clothes, for all the mutant garments that have spawned from my hands, for all the bells and whistles that I am capable of stringing onto my jeans, my ability to sew has become my genius. It should be yours, too.

Most Coveted: 5 Inch Heels (alice + olivia for Payless)

I've been really, really good about not spending money on unnecessary stuff lately, but 5 inch heels are a necessity in my world, and the winter versions are beginning to show their age. Fortunately I just found a kick-ass pair of more springlike shoes online at Payless, for under $40 and they even have designer street cred.

This pair of shoes by alice + olivia (they're calling it a platform slingback bootie-- I agree with the platform and slingback but I'd say it's more of a stylized stacked heel clog than a bootie)has a padded insole for comfort, and is the perfect thing to feminize (but not too much) your stovepipe jeans and leather jackets for those Saturday night bar band pilgrimages. They come in at just under 5 inches (4.75" to be exact)but I can't pass them up. Note to designer Stacey Bendet: a white version of these would be even better.

Better Skin Through Economic Hardship

A mere two years ago I had a lot more money than I do now, and most of it was spent at high-end skincare counters or Sephora in the quest for the perfect complexion. This was a somewhat quixotic quest, I have to admit. I have pretty good skin to begin with, but it's sensitive, and my friends and family have told me over and over again to leave well enough alone. Still, each time there was a GWP I trudged off in search of the next miracle product that would change my life.

My main skincare issue was a patch of melasma on my upper lip that I've had since I gave birth to my younger daughter 6 years ago. It's large enough to be noticeable, and extremely annoying because it looks like I literally have a smudge of dirt on my face. (I can't begin to tell you how many times people have taken napkins and tried to rub it off for me!)

I would occasionally give in to the impulse purchase of a wrinkle treatment or foundation primer, but virtually all of my skincare purchases went towards treatment of this tiny centimeter-square patch of dark skin under my nose. I tried every fad treatment imaginable-- copper, Vitamin C, retinol, AHAs, BHAs, even stuff from Asia where I couldn't read the label to find out what the active ingredient was. In most cases, the patch stayed the same; once or twice, it even became darker. And then the economy cast a shadow over my beauty obsessions, and I forgot about it.

Fast forward to recently when I grabbed a bottle out of my drawer to take with me to a wedding because I needed a good lightweight moisturizer. It was the Fresh Appleseed Brightening Essence, which I'd bought and never used, and it smelled nice and was the exact texture I needed. It was an enjoyable product and I'd spent a ton on it ($95) so I kept using it. And using it. And using it. (It's been five months now since that wedding and I use it every night.)

And one day when I was rubbing lipstick off my teeth in the mirror I happened to notice that the melasma spot was significantly lighter. Was it gone? No, but after 5 months of nightly treatments, no one was going to rub my face with their napkin anymore.

$95 is a lot to spend for any skincare treatment, but if it works, and lasts five months, I can't help but recommend it. I have not made a single skincare purchase this year-- I still have stores of hoarded stuff to work through-- but when this runs out, I will replace it.

You can buy Fresh Appleseed Brightening Essence from Sephora, a Fresh store, or Neiman Marcus, among other places. And if you know of other skincare or makeup products that are really worth their price, please share. We'll publish a roundup of them in a future post.

Fashion Yarn at a Discount

Okay, Hieu has kicked my butt today (we're into RPGs around here and he's being Peter Parker's boss-- you should see me in a Spidey costume!) by reminding me I haven't posted in, well, forever. It's hard writing about fashion in this economy...right now even my O's are recycled (my keyboard is broken, so every time I need one I have to Control V). But the truth is that it IS still possible to be stylish even in the midst of a depression. So this week Ten Pretty Girls (which may need to be renamed One Pretty Girl and a Hot Vietnamese Guy?) is featuring style on an EXTREME low budget.


My grandmother and her sisters used to unravel sweaters and knit them over again to have something new to wear. Let's face it, most of us don't have the patience for that, but you can still get the same effect, kind of, by buying deeply discounted designer yarn.

One of the best sources for chic yarn at a heavily discounted price is Sumptuous Yarn Sale. This site offers real designer yarn at astounding discounts. For example, right now Plymouth Yarn's Glitterlash, which is normally $85 a bag, is marked down to $21.25 per bag...that's 10 balls, people, at $2.12 per ball! (Hey Hieu, want me to teach you to crochet?) Other sites sell it for $10.00 a bag, so it's a really good deal, and how else can you have your own Italian designer sweater for under $25?

If you're not creative enough to come up with your own design, you can go to Knitting Pattern Central or Crochet Pattern Central for free patterns/ideas. (Search the term eyelash yarn-- they're interchangeable, you don't need to find a pattern with this exact yarn.) And if you don't know how to knit or crochet, now is a good time to learn. After all, we've all got to come up with some way to spend our time now that we can no longer afford to shop.