Screamer of the Week : It's A Skirt! No, It's A Top! No, It's Both!

I like Newport News, I really do. I went to a Redken hair showcase on Park Avenue yesterday and I wore these wide-legged jeans from them, which got me a lot of compliments (mine were in a dark rinse, of course). In fact, I'd venture to say that 1/3 of my wardrobe is from there, with the other two thirds being from Nordstrom and designer sample sales/consignment stores/outlets at Woodbury Common (contrary to popular belief, there's no "s" on the end of that name). But sometimes they go really, really wrong, and today is one of those days. Yup, it's Screamer of the Week time.

When I was a little girl (bear with me, it's relevant) my cousin Dana and I used to play Barbies for hours on end with elaborate melodramatic story lines that usually revolved around rich women who had maids that they slapped around, verbally abused and made sleep in the basement on a concrete floor. The maids would have their day in the end when it was revealed that they were having affairs with the rich Barbies' husbands. (I have no idea where we got such ideas from, except maybe that our mothers let us stay up late and watch Dallas.)

Since virtually all Barbies looked identical back then, how could you tell which one was the maid? Easy...they had bad haircuts (the maids were the dolls we'd experimented on), and their sole uniform was a longish Barbie skirt pulled up around the bust line to make a pathetic strapless dress.

Imagine my hysteria when I found out that Newport News actually makes such a garment! There it is above shown as a top and if you click on the large photo on their website you can see it as a skirt too. It features smocking and a handkerchief hemline and is on sale for $39.00. I have to admit, it doesn't look terrible as a skirt, although the picture is so tiny you really can't tell, but the mere existence of this item has me screaming this week.